I have recently discovered a new ally in the battle against hunger, the fight against cravings, the conflict with over-eating and even the struggle against poverty.
Arise sir Freddo, defender of my simian belly
Let us consider it's benefits:
1) It is only 10p a bar. Who can argue with buying anything that is 10p? 10p is pretty much free these days. If you were the whiny sort, the type of person that fears progress, you could complain that Freddo bars are a lot smaller than regular cadburys bars, thereby negating their relative cheapness, but let's do a statistical comparison:
In the purple corner, weighing it at a 75 grams, the reigning champion: Cadbury's Dairy Milk bar for 49p
In the green corner, weighing in at 20 grams, the challenger: Freddo bar for 10p.
You don;t have to be a genius to work it out: if you bought 4 freddo bars you would have MORE chocolate for LESS money. That is an equation that no one can complain about: FREDDO WINS.
2) It is small. This might sound counter-intuitive, but consider the FACTS: if I buy a full size bar of Cadburys I am almost always quite satisfied after consuming just half the bar, but I have to go on and finish the rest - it is one of the most fundamental laws of physics that you cannot eat just half a bar of choclate. And so I am doomed to end up eating the whole thing and ultimately rather wishing I hadn't - but not so with our friend Freddo!
One small bar is enough to sate my craving for chocolate and allow me to go about my daily non-chocolate-related business without eating more than I really ought to. FREDDO WINS. Plus the small size has the added bonus that you can fit the whole thing in your mouth in one bite thereby earning the title of 'greedy pig'. Wear it with pride.
and finally 3) it is shaped like a smiling happy frog. I will always choose a foodstuff in a novelty shape where possible (though even I draw the line at reformed meat - there is something extremely disturbing about a bear's face made out of shaped ham) - it was true of space raiders and it's true of freddo. And it prevents the eater with an interesting decision - which end do you eat it from? Do you start at the head to snuff out Freddo's life in an instant? Or do you start at the feet to prolong his life, but also his agony? Never before has a foodstuff come with such a complex moral dilemma. FREDDO WINS.
In summary:
FREDDO WINS.
Bow down before your new amphibian master.
